FUCK THE POLICE, because most people are too intimidated to approach, flirt with, and start a meaningful relationship with the police. -Dean Carlson
A cheetah can move at speeds of 70 mph. So can a Ford Aerostar. Not so impressive now, is it? -Dean Carlson
FACT: You can not contract AIDS from a public toilet seat if you are taking a C. Everett Poop. -Dean Carlson
Never call a vagina a “pussy” unless, you know, it won’t chug a beer or jump off the roof of the garage or something. -Dean Carlson
Contrary to popular belief, cats are great for protection. That is, if you are worried about centipedes breaking in to your home. -Dean Carlson